One time during high school, a fellow student made certain claims and statements tantamount to the following summary; “There is only one woman I will never have sex with, my mother. All other women are options and not off bounds.” Another time I was cautioned; “Never say you will never hit your wife. There are so many who hit their wives who thought they would never do it but circumstances have forced them to.”
Then and now I my response is both statements reflect poor judgment and self-awareness and a working knowledge of the true realities of life. As I have mentioned earlier, I was schooled at a single sex school and needless to say something about this particular environment acquaints like nothing else can about what we as men think outside of the influence of the judgement of the outside world. Armed with this experience, the experience that has come post high school, the fight I have fought with pornography and the place I now have come to today of fellowship with God I stand today to declare to every man live today that you are valuable and when you know just how valuable you are, your value system, your opinions of sex and virginity and everything about the way you see both men and women will change.
As you are, tall or short, muscular or thin, single or in a relationship. Your value is independent of any image that mass media wants to portray to you-we are not all James Bond look-alikes, we cannot all have the physique of Tarzan and contrary to what porn and pornified media wants you to believe, you are not a helpless life support system for an erect penis incapable of compassion, sensitivity or love or managing your own appetite (libido). Man, you are made in the image and likeness of God and Jesus shed His blood because He thinks you are something and I agree. You are loved more than you have ever allowed yourself to believe and this love that Jesus has for you will satisfy your heart.
I think this whole supposition and cultural framework that men will always be men and cheat and connive is one of our greatest enemies to true joy, power and enjoying life as we buy into the idea that our worth is determined by the number of girls I can have ‘meaningless sex with’ and we buy into ideas that say women are difficult, they cannot be understood and its pointless leading to the formation of these subcultures of continually searching for the latest thrill but all the while without true sense of joy. We allow fears to dictate what we do and see and we allow these fears to form our opinions of others, of other men, of women and we mask the insecurities that have developed with thin veneers of whatever in that moment the mob defines as true masculinity.
As I will always say, when you allow fear to dictate your opinions, your choices and your actions then my friend your life is in the wrong hands. So listen man, you are an expression of the glory of God, you were made in his image, born to be brave and to lead and to love. To every man out there who thinks that the more girls they have the more masculine they are or that it is inevitable, I give you this challenge. See how well you do—love your wife/girlfriend as Christ loved the Church, giving himself up for her to present her to Himself spotless and without wrinkle. And may I remind you, this love that Christ gave was not because the Church first deserved it but in love He suffered first before the Church responded.
When you realise that this is harder than anything you have ever done, that it is more challenging and more demanding than your strength allows, realise Christ has done so much to win your heart for Himself. Yield then to the power of this love and allow it to change you from the inside out. Realise then that you are made for more and to be the pillar of your household will satisfy you more than all those other facades we present to the world.
This piece my dear brothers is still a work in progress but may you be blessed and may you encounter the man Jesus Himself for I assure you Jesus Christ is more than a Sunday church attendance and a get away from hell ticket, He is a man full of love for you who righteously has paid the price for all our sins and who changes everything about your life the moment you begin to know Him.
May the grace of our Lord and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you always.