A lot of the times if the church you go to is like anything like the ones I have been to, it appears you have to a display of the most perfect people in the world, people who have never failed and who do not have pasts. The zealous ones would do a great job of making you feel like the absolute worst sinner or Christian ever and from the sermon, it sounds a lot like God’s pretty mad at you and rather reluctant to do you any good until you meet a specific bill of requirements say, maybe until your prayer regiment is impressive or until you start living the perfect saintly life. It just feels so “churchy” for the lack of a better word and those a bit more aware of what goes on behind the scenes become the skeptics, the cynics who believe every profession of Christianity is a lie and that there really is no hope for mankind. History has a record of me that will say that I myself have also played the part of the whitewashed grave, an appearance of perfect infallibility on the outside and yet on the inside decay darkened the very heart I showed as pure. But the truth is all this does not work and Jesus has a better answer.
Because of what we have been taught to believe about God our Father, so often when we fail we want to hide and we want to run away. We feel unworthy of His presence and of His love because of what we have done and we will not get back to seek God until somehow we believe our actions are now worthy of His presence. The people around us seem to have it all and they never fall short. It seems as though all around you, you are the only one to make the mistake and you think it is too weird to tell and too strange and suddenly you start to drift away from God.
Unfortunately, this is the worst thing you can do when you fail, to turn away from God and try to get it right on your own. You see, Hebrews declares that we are washed from our sins so let us come boldly to the throne of grace that we might obtain mercy in our time of need. And it is a well known fact that you become like the ones you hang around most often, even if at first you did not intend to become so. Mercy and grace are not for those who have it all, or who have the perfect strength in and of themselves to get it right. The well have no need of a doctor. Mercy is for those who have failed, who have messed up and got it wrong and grace is there to carry them to the place they need to be. You see, when you fail is the time to get closer and to run into the arms of God.
The blood of Jesus has washed away all the condemnation written in your name and it is sufficient to cleanse you. Run into God with this knowledge, you have been given righteousness as a gift and gifts do not depend on performance otherwise they cease to be gifts and become rewards which introduces the possibility of punishment and fear. Run into God knowing when you spend your time with God, you will become like Him and He will not withhold from you the grace you need.
You are not the first one to fail and you probably will not be the last one. It may not even be the last time you fail in this area of your life but know this, the path of the just shines brighter and brighter unto the perfect day. This means there will most likely be a process, a time period involved between you seeing the need to live right and actually embodying it. You may have noone else who will be honest and frank with you but my friend, God is not angry with you. Christ died for you before you were even born, He knew you would mess up and He made a way out and it is called grace. Do not ever feel like you are the only one, Saul who became Paul was a murderer of Christians, Peter got it wrong many times and the examples are endless.
In the book of Romans chapter 8, Paul makes it clear-God justifies the ungodly. You see, noone else can take a criminal whose case has been proven beyond reasonable doubt that He is guilty and let Him go not only without a punishment, but with a blessing but God can. You were ungodly [i assume you are born again] but you have been given a gift of righteousness that no matter what you do if it comes to a court case you will be declared innocent. This is by the blood of Christ alone. God is not angry with you, all the anger and judgment has been taken in its full measure by Jesus Christ on the cross.
Now come boldly to the throne. When you fail, run to God-fellowship more, listen to the voice of the Spirit, let Him unveil His word to you and I promise you you will be given the strength you need to live right and to be right. And even if noone else may make you feel welcome and wanted, brother or sister let me just say in me you find someone who says no matter what you have done in the past, no matter how recent it is I do not judge you or think you to be unworthy. You are still God’s masterpiece my dear friend, you are fearfully and wonderfully made and it is with this honour that I ought to treat you. Be free to be you, to be human, to need and use grace and mercy and to grow up in the Lord in more and more peace and rest of mind.
As many mistakes as you have made and as you may make, still grace abounds to lift you and to carry you to the place you need to be. Grace-the enabling presence of the Father and not your own mistakes.
Be blessed, indeed you are loved and welcome home to the grace of the Father.
