I may sound a bit rough today and in the rest of this series its possible that I may offend with some strong language but I believe love is not all mushy feelings and there are times when what is spoken out of sincere love must hurt for as it is written, “No discipline is pleasant at the time which it is given.”
My thoughts came out of a time when I was thinking of relationships and what passes for wisdom amongst many who I should probably call practical atheists-they believe in the existence of God but seek him neither when problems arise or when finding out how life is to be done.
You see, many people have the experience where in a relationship, they have been in it with someone from church and things went sour-maybe you got physical early only to discover that they cheated. Maybe you have heard of a friend, a deacon perhaps in a church somewhere who called of his wedding after catching his/her partner cheating a few weeks before the wedding. Maybe you have read the endless litany of accounts of cheating elders and abusive authorities in the church who have molested their membership. For instance, a few years ago, there was a multitude of reports of Catholic Clergy who had molested a number of infants all across Europe.
Quite a tragic story but what follows I believe is even worse: the opinions are formed in people’s minds that “There is no-one dependable in the church;” –“There is no more value for purity; there is no such thing as a virgin these days chero kuchurch;” —or you have no hope of finding a good wife and you need to be extremely lucky for that to happen. And this is the part to which I make my address today. All such opinions that form are stupid and illogical-especially on the part of the believer who then begins to believe that in the church there is no suitable life partner that can be found; that they are better of finding someone who may or may not go to church because what they have experienced in the church really leaves a lot to be desired.
The last opinion really is my major focus today. I understand that it is borne out of pain; that a broken heart is a condition that is not the easiest to cure and that at the time when pain is the most intense; the best option always seems like to shut out the heart to the possibility of love in a bid to avoid the possibility of ever getting to experience such pain again and that also out of this pain such opinions seem reasonable but they are not. Your chances of finding a good person outside the church will never be better than in the church.
The world is the place where God has no influence; it is the place where His values are not upheld. It is the place where virginity is scorned and something to be laughed at. It is the place where a man’s value is determined by how many women He beds or how much money He has or just how strong-headed they are. It is the place which defines the ultimate purpose of life as just fulfill your immediate needs; the lust of the flesh and the only consequences to be avoided are the physical health ones particularly AIDS or a viral disease. It is the place where manipulation is honoured and considered a must for any relationship to function. For the women the message is look sexy, appeal and seduce and you will get the guy to do what you want; for the guy its have the money, sweet talk and do nice stuff for her for she will end up in your bed. Ultimately, the prevailing opinions and values are shaped by the devil who hates all of humanity.
The church is the bride and the body of Jesus Christ. She is God’s delegate to demonstrate the heart and the goodness of God and in her purity has a value. In her virginity is important and in her the ultimate definition of love is measured by sacrifice of one for the other. In her the message for the man is love your wife, honour and cherish her as the weaker vessel and for the wife it is give honour to the husband. It is selfless, it’s message is one of giving and being there for the other no matter what. The core value is we have value as the creation of God made in His image and that is the first basis from which we are to look at one another.
The third reality is there is a devil and he has misled some even who go to church and even in the sheer stupidity to not expect to find a good spouse there: but rather to believe you have hope in the world.
church. There are some who have not awakened to the goodness of God, to the reality of His love and who will profess a Christianity in mouth but will mimic the world in lifestyle.a But the presence of this who have been misled does not change the identity of the church. If there is a rat in a house, you do not burn your house down but you deal with the rat. And so it is with relationships and the truth concerning who to choose. Based on who the world is and who the church is, it is
You may have had painful experiences, but I ask you now to forgive those who have wronged you and to ask God to heal your heart. Ask also for wisdom for how to deal with relationships and how to select a partner. I promise you God will bring refreshing in your relationships and they will become full of life.
The word that I will declare over you in the name of Jesus is this (and I believe I say this by the Spirit of God):
“For some, your relationship experience has been like a fire that has left your heart like a field is after a veld fire, it is black charred and there is no life in it. Many reasons are there for it but that is not the focus now. Right now, surrender your heart to the Spirit of God. He is there were you are, He is ready and willing to heal your heart. Allow his word to shape your opinions on relationships, allow it to transform your mind. Your relationship with your spouse, present or future and every other one will be like the charred vlei that when it rains is restored to green freshness, to life and to vitality. Your marriage will be a glad one, your relationship with your parents with your friends will be fruitful; encouraging and authentic in fun. You will not need to hide who you are from anyone for you will discover the true joy of being loved as you are, where you are. Your heart as well, will be like a field that though burnt, when it rains comes alive and the pain of death before is forgotten. It will be new, free and every now and again you will not get that pain that you often get now.
Amen.