So recently my nation held elections; elections wrought with anxiety and hope, anxiety because many wondered must we really dare to hope? Dare to dream that elections could be the herald for a long yearned for future of peace, respect and reconciliation? Anxiety because memory so strongly cautioned in the folly of expecting an uneventful elections, and when 37years of elections have resulted in more and more decay for a nation once described as “The Jewel of Africa.”
And in the immediate aftermath, for many that hope quickly faded into despair, dread and rage. Despair for the memories of 2008, and how low economically we sank, dread for fear that the situation could quickly become polarized and violent, and rage as record after record of irregularity began to be announced on the national broadcaster. Indead, as news of soldiers opening fire on unarmed civilians, the dread of many became a reality, and the hope that a few days prior filled the air quickly dissipated as many simply have begun to expect more of the same.
In the timeline of these events, my heart has also been up and down with the events. Hopeful as for the first time, I cast my ballot, eager and expectant as I believed I was carrying out my duty; but also despair, dread, rage and possibly overwhelming disappointment as the results came out. I am a believer in restoration of purpose, but I must admit it is a hard sell for me to believe that the beneficiaries of a broken system would want to see it changed, especially when they have behind them 37 years of proving otherwise. But I am not here to talk about my political choice, that is a conversation for another time.
I am here to talk about the journey with God I have just been on during these past few weeks, and how encouraged and at peace I now am, even as events continue to unfold. My immediate response to the results was simply one of a man spurned; dejection, the desire to simply pack up and go the next day. In no way did any of the events inspire confidence in me, and neither do they now. But where then I needed the strong flavor of Amarula to help me get through the motions, now it is a sense of the peace of God that makes every one of my steps lighter; and where then frustration at what my future could possibly hold was the biggest ache in my heart, now I have a great sense that it is in God, and not man that my future lies; and it is to Him we must continue to look for for the transformation of this nation.
In these past days, one of the most humbling statements that I have heard is no one loves Zimbabwe more than God. Think about it for a moment, that as we are caught up in the sight and smells of poverty, lack, disease and disrepair in the nation, we have allowed our own prayers and cries for change to cloud our eyes to the reality that God has great compassion and love for our nation. He hates the lack, sickness, disease and lack more than us, and even as we cry out for the land to be led by righteous hearts, we must never lose sight of the fact that God loves our land and our people more than we could ever do, and if anything, this should inspire confidence that when we pray for the nation to be turned onto a path of prosperity, He will most definitely respond and shape the nation according to His heart.
Another event was the Sunday sermon, when one of the most freeing things Pastor shared upon was “Be angry, and sin not..” That it is ok to not appear super spiritual and be angry, disappointed, and even to cry because of the events of the week, but not to let that anger lead me to sin, to bitterness, to hatred and all sorts of evil spirits. He taught on how walking with God is an authentic walk, a place of openly sharing where I was, and leaning on Him for wisdom and strength, for counsel and encouragement, for provision and all else I may ever need. I believe maybe in times past, concealing and hiding would have been my normal recourse, but now I am free.
I was also reminded in my prayer time, that “We wrestle not against flesh and blood;” and of the question in Isaiah where God says, “Do you think I like to see wicked people die? No, I would rather have them turn from their wicked ways and be saved. ” And I was reminded that as much as we fight for a new Zimbabwe, the fight really is for the spirit of greed to be lifted off of the nation, for pride to fall and for the hearts of fathers to be restored to their children. Another time, I came across a number of words the Spirit impressed upon me regarding things which were to come; words which I did not share then, and will not now, but that as I looked upon them really had been fulfilled in the time since. I remember, the feeling in my heart, that I was asking myself why I was worried; and why I had allowed myself to be distracted, and to put my hope in man; and not in God. Because He really does have the future in His hands, and there is nothing that is hidden from him.
And today, as I went about my activities, I sensed in my heart that a cloud lifted over me. I have no idea what my future holds, and I have many dreams that I have not begun to work on; but I felt under no pressure to get it all done today. I have no idea how the court case will go, and I have a sense that though Zimbabwe is very close to a very bright rising of the sun, that it will first become darker (I would love to be wrong…), but I felt no fear for what tomorrow brings.
I found msyself wondering what sort of place this is; and what kind of life I was living, and then I concluded, “Maybe this is the peace that passes understanding, the rest that God has promised to those who put their trust in Him.” And I did so, it became my wish to share my story and help every believer to come to this place because He really does care about our nation.
Selah