So it is the end of year now and I just realised I a few blogs short of the yearly targets I sort of set for myself; in spite of at one point seeming on course to well break them (52 blogs annually just in case you are wondering). Reasons being many but one of which I think will be the most appropriate to share about as this I think is common to most if not all us. And for title’s sake, I think I will call it “Identity Test”
And this I say because looking back on the year and on the events that have been there, the highs and lows, spiritual and physical I realise that I have just come out of a year of testing particularly on my identity; on what I stand for and what I hold dear. And to be quite honest; I am wounded coming out of this season and probably to be more fair I am on a hospital bed somewhere doing some healing. At various moments I did lose hope and I did lose sight of what it meant to be a true prisoner of hope. In addition, as I shared in colours of a chameleon, many a time my speech did not match my heart and inevitably my beliefs inadvertedly wavered. As such, I would probably be guilty of not sticking to what it means to be a prisoner of hope.
And now since I think it would probably be silly to do multiple posts just for the sake of a number without true substance, I have to be more introspective and authentic. This year has been a year of testing, where the question albeit unspoken asked of me was are you really a prisoner of hope or are you a phony. I have spent the past 6 months unemployed, a few signs of hope here and there but I was a bit gloomy and sad that I did not get my wish to have started work as soon as I was done with university. I am far from a church I call home and whose people I consider family, separated by the small matter of over 800 kilometres and I realise I am not quite as happy where I am now and not for the lack of trying. I have managed to complete my book “God’s will for you to prosper,” but other than online options, publishing seems a bit far off and the second “God wants you to have great sex” is still in the making; both of which I would have wanted to be complete and published by today.
And I guess as I look at these questions and consider just what I have been asked, as I go into the new year I have to look myself in the mirror and tell myself what hope really is and what the foundation is as I face the circumstances that may not have changed. Because to be a prisoner of hope means that I must stand on a foundation of trust; on a foundation of realising the greatness of God always and making the commitment to walk by faith and not by sight; because God really is a good God, and He really cares. Psalm 108:13 says “Through God we shall do valiantly for He it is that shall tread down our enemies,” and it is such words of truth that stand eternally, no matter the situation that are to determine the outlook of my heart and my life and not what I feel or what I have seen or have yet to see. And to trust in God means a realisation that no matter how dire the circumstance, no matter how ugly or bad the relationship is, the power to restore is resident in the blood of Jesus and knowing He has given me Jesus, I can be full of confidence knowing that because of His love He will freely give me all things as the bible says.
I have rambled on enough now I guess and I guess to sign out the year and go into the next one, my final words will be a word of encouragement and blessing:
May the Lord bless you, make his face shine upon you and His glory upon your life. This coming season, may the power of grace fulfilling your hopes and dreams be like sweet wine upon your lips and may the power of our Lord preserve you and keep you whole, mind body and soul. May the fellowship of the Spirit be with you always: and may the Lord bless you and your family in the knowledge of His holiness, and His grace forever keep you. The Lord Jesus be praised.
Amen.