So I know I have been quiet of late and I was honestly hoping it would not be that way. In my mind at it would have not been that way but not everything has been as smooth as I hoped. But in my mind, I have to admit I have not been as steady or stable as I had hoped.
I have been in one of those moments where it seems like you do not really know where tomorrow is going to take you; and where in the moment it seems like all your dreams and hopes and aspirations have been taken from you and you do not really know what it is you want to do with your life or if you really are following what your life’s purpose ought to be. I guess its similar to what most people experience in what they describe as a mid-life crisis more or less. Mine more or less brought about by the fact that I never really desired to leave Zimbabwe any moment before I became a financial success in pretty much every definition of the word.
Many ideas have flashed across my mind as it stands, many good ones and some not so good but many a day, I have found myself questioning where my life is and where it is going. Worst of all, I have found myself in a place where I feel distant from God, lured by temptation and quite possibly losing myself and not really know who I was anymore. And in short, this is not really a place that feels good. I guess this is one of those moments where the only thing that gets you to keep going; to remember so to speak and not get caught up and lost in the moment is to remember the word of the Lord that says “I had fainted unless I believed I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.”
Because really at such a moment, this may be all you have: just the knowledge that God is good and somehow He will get me through this moment of confusion, blindness up until the moment where everything once again is where you believe it ought to be.
Selah