Today is the 14th of February, recognized world over as Valentine’s Day, a day for those in love to celebrate and show each other their love. In stores, gondolas are set up, advertising Valentine’s Day mugs, teddy bears and flowers. The Hospitality industry is awash with promotions encouraging lovers to book a night or two of romance, a lover’s massage or a dinner fit for royalty: all of this done in the name of getting him or her-mostly her, the perfect Valentine’s gift.
And what exactly makes a perfect Valentine’s day gift? Is it the price tag written on it that says you are special? And therefore a $300 bouquet of flowers is better than a $30 one? Is it the uniqueness of the gift? Meaning that getting her a tailor made dress is better than the one at Edgars or Woolworths? Is it the quality of the food you eat or buy, that makes it tick? Meaning therefore that Nandos is better than Chicken-Inn? Is it all of these factors, or is it none?
When you were trying to answer the question above, did words like sacrifice, thoughtful, quality time, from the heart pop up with you? Words that communicate values such as honor, respect and the priority of family and love rather than the actual detail of the gift. Because deep down we know, or ought to know, that the true value of a gift is not in the details of the gift but in the message it communicates to the recipient such as:
I am willing to sacrifice for you,
I enjoy spending time with you,
I want to give you what I know you need,
You mean more to me than you realise
Because really that is what he or she really needs or wants to get from you. So then, in trying to come up with that perfect gift for her, why not think in reverse; and before looking at the gift ask yourself the question, what does he/she need and what do I want to communicate to them the most? Because you may find that your perfect Valentine’s day is different from what everyone is trying to sell you.
You may find your answer as doing the dishes for her-the first time you have done so for her in 15 years of marriage; or cooking a candle -lit dinner just for the two of you. It may be switching of all cellphones and email, and taking the evening just to talk and really listen to her-the type of listening where you are not treating her like she is nagging but genuinely finding out how she is doing and what is going on in her life. Maybe you will realise you have never prayed for your wife; seven years into marriage and not once have you ever said God bless my wife and today that is where you really need to start.
I do not know what the answer will be to yours, but I can guarantee you that the perfect gift always lies after the answer to those two questions which I will repeat:
1. What does my love really need?
2. What can I really do for them to meet that need and show them my love?
And I will all of you in closing a happy Valentine’s day.
Selah