Hi.
So I am going to address a quirky topic often unanswered in church and I will be sharing knowledge that has been transformational to how I view sex and why we must wait. I will give a lot of credit to my church family for walking me through these realisations and it has been joy and more freedom for me to realise this.
Waiting has never been a decision I questioned, I always thought sex was for marriage and I for a while now even though it may have been born out of a need to simply prove people wrong more than anything else. Hence, even through the darker times of my life spent trapped in lust, it remained probably one of the few right things i knew and lived like I wanted to actually see fulfilled.
Like most things we believe however, there is always that time when something or someone challenges the foundation of what we believe and in the area of premarital sex, the biggest attack probably for me was the idea that maybe I might be missing out. That guys in the world are out there having fun and me waiting was ridiculous because at the end of the day chances were high that what I would receive was someone else “second hand goods” And to be honest when such thoughts begin to take a hold in your mind, premarital sex all of a sudden begins to look like an option that is worth it. You don’t want to “miss out” and yet at the same time you want to please God because you know waiting is right but you know no other reason why to do so.
Well now I know better; and this is the truth I am not missing out on sex or “great sex” as a lot of people would want to put it out. In fact, this is the picture I now have of waiting versus not waiting for marriage and I know it will be a blessing to you. Imagine two people are hungry, like literally empty-stomach-after-a-day-of hard working hungry. (Vakamboenda kumusha apa ndopanoshanda mamemories ebadza renguva dzekurima) . Of these two people, both have the resources to afford a meal at a great restaurant, say Nandos or something fancier. And both of these equally hungry people find themselves outside the door of the restaurant and enquire about their meal, Chips and 1/4 chicken with a greek salad side dish and sticky toffee pudding dessert; and consequently both are told their meal will be ready in about 20 to 30minutes, done exactly to their specifications. These two lets call them Peter and Adam. Peter decides to wait and Adam on the other hand notices a bin on the opposite side of the road in which an urchin(streetkid) is helping themselves to a voluminous amount of what seems to be sadza and some beans; upon which he goes and discovers the food is 3 days stale but decides anyway that he is too hungry to wait for the Nandos meal and goes on to eat the food from the waste for immediate gratification.
Will both Peter and Adam get filled up and their hunger pangs go? Well yes but you know Adam will soon be in regret when he discovers his digestive system just isn’t built for what he just had. Who would you rather be, well if you had any sense in this story it is obviously Peter. Why? Because the meal he is going to have after waiting will be so much better than the immediate gratification Adam chooses. In the case of sex, Peter is the guy who waits for a healthy functional godly marriage, and Adam is the guy who believes there is no need to wait and that really there are no consequences to sex outside of marriage.
How, well I will answer that in the second and final part to this bold realisation I now live from for two reasons; the first being I do not want to make a large post that noone will want to read and therefore fail to benefit from and two, I also want to give you some time to think and ask yourself what you really believe about sex before marriage and that is it at the very least as damaging as I have suggested and that do you really think waiting is the way to go or is it overstated.
If you have not waited, fear not the father redeems, restores and makes ALL things new. So do not condemn yourself, you are still loved and your life can from now take on the path God has intended in this area of your life. And all the pain and fears you live with, God will melt away in the power of His love. Just say “Lord I need help. Here I am” and I promise you my Father will begin to do a work in you of restoration to purity you may not have thought possible—it doesn’t many how many times you have had premarital sex, nor does it many with how many people or whether or not they were of the same gender. The grace of God is bigger than all your worst sins combined and it is well able to do a work of restoration in you. I have no doubt about this.
Be blessed.